You only get married once
by Shkeerka
Summary: On her wedding day, Serena finds her husband, Andrew with another woman. The only person she can turn to is her old nemesis, Darien Shields. Imagine what happens. Rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

It was supposed to be the best day of her life, the day she'd been waiting for since she was a child. And it had been. The ceremony had gone perfectly. The vows, the flowers, the groomsmen, the bridesmaids, the guests, even the ones she'd been worried about, everything had gone perfectly. Serena Tsukino, not Tsukino anymore, she smiled as she thought to herself. She was Serena Furuhata now, she was Mrs. Andrew Furuhata. She was married, happily, wonderfully married to her childhood crush. Serena gathered her long and fluffed up to the point of insanity, white dress and dusted out all the rice. The small hotel bathroom didn't offer enough space for the act but she made due. If this was her only problem during her big day, she'd take it with joy. Finally satisfied with her appearance, Serena made her way to the large reception room.

Her eyes skimmed the guests that smiled as she entered. She smiled back, how could she not. This was the perfect day. Music played in the background as she waltzed through the room, a little tipsy. She didn't mind the smiles and kissed and best wishes, she enjoyed them to their upmost. Pink, her favorite color, covered the large room almost entirely. The tables were covered with pink roses, tablecloths, the chairs had pink bows and the people all wore pink roses somewhere on their person, the one favor she'd asked of her guests. They'd more than happily abided her wishes. She loved it, loved the design the expensive wedding planner her father had paid for had come up with. She couldn't get enough of the atmosphere, and the music, and the smell of the flowers in the air. Her dress hung just above the floor as she walked in her glass slippers, a fairytale fantasy she couldn't deny herself. She smiled at the guests and slowly made her way to the edge of the dance floor where she watched the swaying couples with a small smile. Now if she could only find her groom, she could have another dance in his warm embrace.

"Can I have this dance?" a smooth voice interrupted her little-bit drunken state.

Serena turned around with a bright smile and noticed that the man who held out his hand wasn't her beloved but someone very different altogether. The man who'd asked for the dance was none other than her tormentor in high school, Darien Shields, the man who'd stood beside Andrew as they'd exchanged vows. Andrew had begged Serena and Darien to agree to put their past behind them so that Darien could be best man and they'd agreed begrudgingly. Serena still couldn't get over the fact that he hadn't called her meatball head, yet. They hadn't seen each other since he'd moved away to California right around the time she and Andrew had started dating. Perhaps they really could forgive and forget the hurts from the past.

"Meatball head, you in there?" he said with a glint in his dark eyes. The lights from above illuminated the sheen of his dark hair making it different colors depending on the lights, blue, pink, red, green. She couldn't really tell but as soon as he used that old horrible nickname she only saw red.

"How dare you call me that?" she cried, throwing her arms up.

Her momentary rage made her forget her previous joy altogether. Andrew had convinced her that Darien would be on his best behavior that something like this wouldn't ever happen. She'd agonized over her hair for weeks before the wedding day and decided that for the sake of their history, the fact that Andrew had always loved her hairstyle, she would once again wear it again for this most precious day. No one really had a problem with her hair style, no one but her high school tormentor, Darien Shields.

"Sorry, it slipped out," he said.

To give credit where credit is due, he did manage to look apologetic but Serena couldn't be so forgiving. She shook her head and took a step back from the offensive man. One thing about glass slippers, they may be a fairytale creation but the women who wore them must have always been in incredible pain and clumsiness. Walking in glass slippers and her tipsy state she couldn't help the fact that she tripped backwards on her dress as she attempted to get away from the man before her. Falling backwards all she could think was that everyone would see, everyone would still think she was the klutz they knew in high school. She prepared herself for the fall and the humiliation that would follow. Then when it didn't come she was surprised, she opened her eyes to meet the dark blue ones of her tormentor. He wrapped her in his arms, pulled her to her feet and set her straight.

"Why did you do that?" she asked after a moment of sobriety.

"Do what?" he asked, his familiar sideways smirk on his face. He'd done her a favor but he wasn't going to admit it. How like a bully. He couldn't even admit to the one decent act he'd committed in probably his entire life.

"You caught me," she said quietly. "I would have embarrassed myself in front of everyone," she continued when she should have shut her mouth outright.

"I wouldn't want you to be embarrassed," Darien said softly, his voice taking on a tone she wasn't familiar with.

"Who are you and what have you done with Darien Shields?" Serena said attempting at humor.

"I've changed," he said. "Now since I did just save you and all don't you think you owe me a dance?" he extended his hand once more.

"You haven't changed as much as you think," she said with a smile but took his hand. "And don't ever call me meatball head ever again," she said as they stepped onto the dance floor.

"Never ever," he smiled as he pulled her into the dance. Their bodies were close, closer than the other couples on the floor.

Serena noticed the envious looks she was getting from the other women on the dance floor and couldn't imagine why they would look at her that way. Darien had always seemed like a cold playboy to her. He was like a really sucky Christmas present that was wrapped in beautiful wrapping paper. It was a pretty package on the outside but the inside was cold and hard. That was one of the reasons she'd always loved Andrew, he was such a softie at heart, always there for everyone. Even when she was just a young girl with a crush, Andrew had always put up with her flirtatious nature, and that of her friends. All Darien had done was torment and torture her endlessly and without fail. There wasn't a line he wouldn't cross. Being in his arms and looking into his deeply blue eyes, Serena could almost understand why women would put up with everything the young but successful doctor did just to be with him. Darien was charming when he wanted to be. The song ended much quicker than she thought it would. Serena was almost reluctant to pull away from the tall, dark, and handsome man's embrace but she did because she knew that she had a better choice waiting for her. She turned around and searched the room, the rest of the couples dispersed, traded partners, some of the women even offered to dance with Darien, of course he declined.

"Who are you looking for?" he asked as he walked with her away from the dance floor.

"I'm looking for Andrew," she said, a frown line embedded in her forehead.

"Oh, right," Darien replied. The forlorn look on his handsome face must have been her imagination.

"You haven't seen him have you?" she asked staring up into his blue eyes. Why did his eyes have to be so blue, not the same blue as Andrew but a deeper blue that penetrates the soul. Serena thought to herself that she must be really drunk if she was imagining poetic words for Darien's eyes. She laughed for a moment and then turned toward the exit. Andrew must have gone up to their room.

"Serena," Darien called as he followed her. "Are you happy?" he asked swinging her around to face him. The room spun and she was dizzy for a moment but the impending nausea passed as she took deep breaths.

"Of course, I'm happy," she said in between deep breaths. "I'm kinda drunk too," she giggled like a little girl. Her eyes met his. "Why wouldn't I be? I'm married to Andrew," she said with a whimsical wave of her porcelain arms. Pink fingernail polish shone in the hallway light. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. "Look at my fingers," she said giggling uncontrollably, "they're glowing."

"Okay, let's get you to your room," Darien said gathering her in his arms. It felt strangely comfortable being in the arms of her former tormentor. Serena found that she trusted him and then couldn't stop laughing at the thought. Darien just waved her uncontrollable laughter off to her drunken state. The odd couple made their way to the honeymoon suite. It was the strangest walk Serena had ever taken, the colors and sounds and smells assaulted her. At times she wanted to vomit and the she wanted to sing or dance. She couldn't decide.

"The door's open," she giggled as the couple made their way to the honeymoon suite.

"I see that," Darien said as he slowed their pace cautiously.

"Andrew," Serena whispered. She'd meant to shout her beloved's name but for some reason she couldn't utter the right amount of volume.

She peered through the open door and made her way into the room. Darien held back just far enough away that if she lost her footing again, he'd catch her but if Andrew appeared he could quickly get out of the way. What she found in the bedroom compelled a high pitched scream from her pink lips. It was a hallucination, it had to be. She was never drinking again. She would promise anything to anyone if only the thing she saw would prove to be a hallucination. Her beloved husband was indeed in their honeymoon suite, in fact he was on their bed but the barely dressed woman he was kissing wasn't Serena. She'd remembered the tall brunette as Andrew's first love, but she'd never have imagined that this could happen.

Andrew and his kissing partner turned around and had the decency to look panicked. "Serena?" he cried in response to her cry.

"How could you?" she cried and then the nausea from before decided to return and she felt like she would vomit right on the honeymoon bed.

"Andrew?" Darien said as he made his way further into the room, far enough that he could see what was happening on the bed.

"I'm going to throw up," Serena said as she covered her mouth. Her world was spinning. Her husband of all of forty minutes was already in bed with another woman. Couldn't he have waited until they'd at least hit a rough patch in their marriage? No, he had to go and hook up with the first woman he saw.

"You don't need to see this," Darien said as he guided the blue in the face blond out of the room. "I'm getting you out of here."

She looked up at him through misty eyes. Her tormentor had become her savior and even more ironically, he was the one saving her from the one man she actually trusted. This couldn't be real. This situation was brought on by the alcohol she'd plied herself with because of her nervousness about her wedding night, her wedding night with Andrew. Well, that wasn't going to happen now. What would happen now? What exactly is the protocol for divorce before the wedding even had a chance to end?

"This can't be real," she repeated as Darien led away from the scene. She trusted him blindly and totally. He could have thrown her off the roof and she would have followed, she would have mumbled her disbelief the entire way down from the high rise. By the time she came to her senses, by the time she was ready to furiously give Andrew a piece of her mind, she wasn't anywhere near the man. Her blue eyes took in the room, it was a hotel room, one very much like her own, smaller but still very hotel like. "Where are we?" she asked looking up at the man standing by the smallish bar. He had a bottle of water in his hands.

"In my room," he said handing her the bottle of cool liquid. She swallowed the water without even getting the chance to thank him. It cleared her head a little but brought about even more worries.

"How about you give me something stronger?" she asked eyeing the bar where little glass bottles were lined up neatly.

"I think you've had enough to drink tonight," Darien said as he sat next to her on the small loveseat. The cushions shifted under his weight.

"That's true," she said softly. "But I don't think I will ever have enough to drink so that I can forget what I saw."

"Probably not," he said wrapping one arm around her shoulders. He pulled her close and she let herself cry on his shoulder.

After a few moments, maybe more than a few, she finally looked up into his eyes. "Why are you being so nice?" she asked, unable to control her curiosity.

"I've always been nice," he said, his voice soft. "Just not to you most of the time."

"Isn't that the truth," she laughed bitterly. "I wish you'd been nicer to me when we were younger. If we were like this, maybe we could have actually been friends," she sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Me too," he said kissing her head. "We could be friends now, it's never too late." He looked down at her red face and smiled a warm smile.

"Okay," she whispered then ran her hair through her hair, undoing the meatballs, as Darien called them. "I look horrible," she said with despair.

"There's a bathroom over there," Darien inclined his head toward the left.

"Thanks," she said getting up and going to the small room.

What was it with bathrooms being so small? Looking at herself in the mirror she realized that it wasn't the room that shrank, it was the stupid poufy dress that made her twice her original size so she couldn't fit. With a disgusted look at the gown in question, she quickly took it off. Then she realized her mistake as soon as she was undressed. Underneath the poufy white dress was a sheer, white and very sexy little outfit. She'd forgotten all about it. She'd spent weeks hunting down the perfect "costume." Finally she'd conceded to Mina and Raye's insistence that she had to sex it up for her first night with Andrew. That was one more thing he'd rob her of, her wedding night. She wouldn't get to experience that magical moment she'd waited so long for. For a moment she wanted to scream and tear the barely there outfit to pieces but then an idea came into her somewhat sober brain. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn't have thought of this, she wouldn't have dared to but these weren't normal circumstances. Only a few moments before she'd found her husband in bed with another woman, why couldn't she do the same?

"Darien?" she called as she walked out of the bathroom. He was still sitting on the loveseat.

"Don't worry, I'll take the couch or whatever this thing is," he said without turning around. He was offering her a safe place to spend the night. Maybe he was different than she'd always seen him.

"Darien, I need to ask you for a favor," she began, almost whispering the words.

"Anything," he said turning around. The sound of his voice and the earnest look in his eyes, terrified her for a moment. "Serena?" he asked, his eyes roaming her body.

Who was she kidding? How could she ever compare to the multitude of women he'd had in his bed. Any minute now he would laugh and tell her to put on some clothes. She opened her mouth but didn't have the courage to ask what she really wanted to ask. "I look ridiculous," she said looking down at her almost naked body.

"No," he said, getting up and walking toward her. "You look amazing." He took her hands into his larger ones and leaned forward kissing her hair.

"Really?" she asked, uncertain. Why was he being so kind?

"Andrew is an idiot," Darien said with and edge to his tone.

His words gave Serena just enough courage. "Speaking of Andrew," she cleared her throat. Darien's blue eyes stared down at her and she couldn't imagine how she could have preferred Andrew's to his.

"Whatever you need," Darien said brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

"I need my wedding night," she said hoarsely.

"What?" he asked. He didn't understand.

"I've waited for this night for so long," she began spitting her words out with force. "I wanted my first time to be on my wedding night but now I don't see that happening the way I planned."

"I'm so sorry," Darien began but Serena interrupted.

"I know about your reputation with women," she said quickly. "I've heard a lot of my friends rave about how good you were," she said blushing from head toe.

"Serena, I don't think I understand," he said moving a step back.

"Give me my wedding night," she said softly then continued just as quickly. "I'm not asking for promises. I just want to experience what I've been waiting for, for so long." She couldn't look at him as she spoke.

"Serena," he began, there was an almost mournful quality to his voice.

"No promises," she caught his gaze and stared at him with her baby blue eyes. "Don't make me beg."

There was long pause and she thought that he'd say no but then he took a step toward her and kissed her feverishly. His mouth was so hot when it met hers. She shivered with unexpected pleasure. So this was what it was like to be kissed by Darien, this was what Raye had raved about for so many years.

Still entwined in their kiss, the couple made their way over to the bed. Darien's magical hands were working diligently the entire time. He was capable of bring sounds from her mouth that she wasn't even aware she was capable of making. Serena fell backwards on the bed with a laugh. She stared up at his hovering form. His eyes were the darkest she'd ever seen them, almost black. Then he started unbuttoning his shirt. One by one, each button freed previously hidden tan skin. She relished the prospect of seeing all of him. For her, he was moving way too slow. As soon as the shirt was unbuttoned, the white garment fell to the carpeted floor, next came the pants. She held back a shriek when she saw his naked body before her. She'd never seen a man in his natural form. It was frightening and exhilarating.

When he'd finished with his clothes, he moved on to hers. She'd expected speed and roughness from Darien; she never anticipated that he would take her slowly, so slowly. He ran his large hands along her exposed skin and then kissed her mouth once more, then moved his way down, down, down. Layers of sheer white fabric slipped off her body as he made his way down her body. She shivered and cried out in pleasure. He was truly magnificent. His hot mouth kissed her skin, sending jolts of electricity down her body, making her buck underneath his experienced hands. Serena hand her fingers through his dark hair as he made his way to her abdomen and then lower and lower. She called out his name but nothing seemed to faze him. He had a plan, he knew which route to follow and she couldn't deny him no matter how intimate his gestures were becoming.

Finally his mouth made its way to the inner folds of her body and Serena didn't understand how much pleasure a woman could feel until she felt the way his hot, wet tongue stroked her inner folds. She cried out, calling his name. It came naturally on her lips. For one slow but momentous moment, Darien raised his head and their eyes met. There was a triumphant look in his eyes before he returned to tormenting her with pleasure. If this was what sex with Darien was like, then all that she'd just gone through was worth it, so worth it.

She'd spent years imagining and fantasizing about her wedding night with Andrew. Of course, she'd started out with vague ideas about what happened behind closed doors but with her growing maturity, she was able to understand more clearly what would happen. It didn't hurt that Andrew took every opportunity to kiss her a little too long every chance he had. Her imagination had come up with some pretty steamy scenarios but this, this she couldn't have ever imagined, no one could have told her how wonderful sex could be. No wonder Raye, who was happily married and expecting her second child, still reminisced about her days with Darien. What woman could forget being with this man? And he hadn't even gotten to the good part yet.

Serena started to feel elated and anxious at the same time, something was coming, something she hadn't experienced until this point, something wild and uncontrollable. Sweat covered her body as she rocked underneath Darien's experienced hands and mouth. She cried out as a delicious wave sent her mind spinning. She couldn't stop herself, she'd lost all reason. This moment was all that there was, they were the only people that mattered. All else in the world stopped meaning anything and this moment made up for everything. This moment made every pain, every insult, even the sight of Andrew inside another woman, this moment made it all worth it. Feeling this much pleasure should have been illegal.

As she was riding the pleasure wave, Darien made his way back to the bed, back so they were face to face and eye to eyes. His eyes were darkly satisfied. Then in a moment that surprised her, she felt him enter her body. She cried out. The pain surprised her. Everything stopped for a moment, they both froze.

"It's okay," she whispered as she stared into his worried eyes. "More than okay," she said hoarsely.

He stared at her for a moment and then started the movement again. It didn't hurt so much the second time. The time after that didn't hurt at all, then the pleasure came, a sensation she was familiar with. He kissed her mouth and increased the speed. Her body bucked underneath his and the pleasure intensified so she started to move with him. His hands roamed her body, grasping and stroking and driving her mad with pleasure. She cried out as his mouth found hers once more. Definitely worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

A phone rang and rang and kept ringing, waking Serena from her dreams. She opened one blue eye to the unfamiliar surroundings of a strange and dark hotel room. The heavy curtains were still drawn over the tall windows to her left but she could see streams of light peeking through signaling that the day was well underway and she'd probably slept through a good portion of it. Serena turned her head to the ringing sound that had woken her and saw the scene unfold before her.

"You have to stop calling," Darien said in to the phone he held tightly to his ear as he paced rapidly a few feet away from the bed she slept in. A small lamp next to the loveseat was the only light source in the room. He wore dark jeans and a white shirt that offset his tan well and showed his muscled arms as he paced, barefoot. It was the most commonly dressed Serena had ever seen the always prim and proper Darien Shields. She could tell he was trying not to wake her but the insistent ringing was enough to wake the dead. He finished the conversation with a decided click and their eyes met. "Good morning," he said softly, as if trying to lull her back to sleep. But she was already awake.

"Hi," Serena said as she sat up. The sheets slid down her body and she gasped remembering that she was naked underneath them, and then she gasped again remembering why exactly she was naked in the first place. Blushing a deep scarlet, she held the sheets to her chest. "My clothes," she said more to herself than to him. She desperately wanted to avoid putting on yesterday's wedding gown. The memories from the night before were already weighing her down; the act of dressing herself in that gown would only make them more real and more painful. Her blue eyes closed as she fought back the tears welling up in her throat.

"I got your suitcase," Darien said quickly noticing her discomfort. He pointed toward the set of three designer suitcases sitting between the two of them.

"Oh," Serena said softly, her lips forming a round shape. "Umm…" she stuttered for a moment. How exactly was she going to get her clothes if she was naked? "Could you turn around?" she asked softly, knowing that he'd already seen, touched and kissed almost every part of her body but the idea of him seeing her naked form in the daytime was terrifying.

Ever the perfect gentleman, a trait Serena wouldn't have guessed he possessed, he nodded. "Sure," Darien said quickly and turned his back to her. There were so many things she didn't know about him, so many things she'd overlooked. With sure fingers, she quickly rummaged through the smallest of the three suitcases and pulled out her toiletries and clothes and ran for the bathroom.

Hollering, "You can turn around now," once she was on the other side of the small door. Her wedding gown greeted her as she walked into the small room. Lying on the tiled floor, it had lost all of its magic. She'd meant to take a quick shower but once the water was running and she was alone with her thoughts, Serena couldn't help but to want to erase the previous night's events. Her fingers scrubbed until her skin turned beet red, then as an afterthought she shaved her legs and soaped her body all over again. The damage was too visible when she saw her reflection in the vanity mirror. Her face was red and she wouldn't meet Darien again looking this way so she had to wait for the temperature in the room to cool down and for her skin tone to return to her natural shade. Serena watched carefully for signs of her changed status. She wasn't a virgin anymore. Shouldn't there have been a neon sign flashing the fact on her forehead? The girl on the other side of the glass didn't look any different than she had the previous day, perhaps less overly happy but still she didn't look less virginal.

"You alright?" Darien asked from the other side of the door. He'd been quiet while she'd showered, or maybe she just hadn't heard him.

"Fine," Serena called back, a little nervous. Her skin had gone back to its natural shade but she couldn't shake the fear that was crawling up her spine. She wasn't a virgin anymore. More than that, she was an adulteress. It didn't matter that Andrew had been the first to stray, not in her mind, well it did but she'd strayed as well. And she couldn't blame the alcohol. Although she'd been tipsy she could still make decisions. What would her mother think? What did Darien think?

"Serena, come out here," he said in a gruff voice. Serena sighed and took one last look at her reflection in the mirror. In white capris and a pink tank top, she didn't look like a wife or an adulteress or even an ex-virgin. She looked like Serena, the same Serena she'd always been.

"Hi," Serena said when she walked haphazardly into the room. It felt like she was entering a war zone or an alien planet. None of the rules from before applied. What would he think of her?

"Would you like some breakfast?" he asked, surprising her. It was the last thing she'd expected. For one, he hadn't even made her wear a scarlet A or looked at her with judgment. This couldn't be the same Darien she'd known all those years ago. Living in California had really changed him. Darien sat on the loveseat, a breakfast cart before him. "I didn't know what you wanted, so I got a little bit of everything. It might be cold now though," he said, holding her gaze for a moment. Serena expected a smart remark but when it didn't come she simply sat down next to him.

"What did you get?" she asked softly, still unsure of his mood.

"I know you've been on an oatmeal kick for a while so I got that and some waffles and strawberries," he began listing off the different plates that lined the small cart.

"Waffles," she said triumphantly. "I've been starving myself so that I could fit into that stupid dress, I don't have to worry about that anymore now so waffles," she said the last part with a lump in her throat.

"Serena," Darien began, his eyes took on a look mixed with curiosity and pity. "I wanted to ask you," he began but she couldn't bear to know what he thought of her. Would this be the moment that he told her what a tramp she'd been? Would this be the moment where he blamed her, accused her? Her blue eyes closed and her mouth took over.

"You know waffles are German right?" she started. "I love waffles, I always have. They're especially good with syrup and butter and milk or orange juice. Andrew always has them with orange" she stopped halfway, her eyes burning to let the tears fall. "I don't know why I mentioned him. He's the one who called isn't he?" she asked meeting Darien's gaze. "Of course he is," she didn't give him the chance to answer. "You must have seen him when you got my luggage. I'm sorry you had to. I know this is awkward for you and especially after what happened. I mean I know you didn't really… well I don't know if you did, I know I didn't or I don't know what I'm trying to say anymore," she sighed exasperated, caught his gaze and smiled an awkward smile. "What was your question again?"

"Last night," he began softly, as if trying to soften the blow. Of course he would try to be nice about it. He was the adult Darien Shields now, the man who was a doctor, of course he wouldn't say it right away, he wouldn't call her a whore and a temptress to her face. He was too kind for that. Serena squared her shoulders and prepared herself for Darien's words to cut deep. "There was something you repeated over and over. You said 'worth it,'" he finished, surprising her and leaving her dumfounded and unable to speak. "What did that mean?"

"Worth it," she parroted him, her face flushed.

"Serena," he began but she put her hand up to stop him.

"That," she gestured toward the bed, "last night, what happened, how it happened, well it was worth everything that went wrong. It made up for everything that went wrong. I know that doesn't make sense and I'm sure women tell you how good you are in bed all the time," Serena blushed even darker red realizing what she'd just said. "Please don't make me keep talking about this," she said stuffing her face full of cold waffles. They were good, or they would have been if they were still hot but at least they stopped the ramblings that came out of her mouth.

"Okay," Darien said. He paused and she thought he would say something else on the matter but her blue eyes pleaded for him to stop and he did. Instead he started on his oatmeal. After a few very long moments of silence, Darien spoke again. "What are you going to do now?" he asked thoughtfully.

"I don't know," Serena said softly. She'd avoided thinking about this moment for as long as she could, this was the moment when she'd decide how to tell everyone that had attended yesterday that the bride and groom had slept not only in separate beds but with separate people.

"What about the tickets to—where was the honeymoon again?" he said, prodding again.

Serena dropped her fork with a clang, she'd lost her appetite. "Well it's not like I can go on my honeymoon now," she said glaring at the man next to her. "Obviously," she added as an afterthought. "What's the point anyway? Hawaii's just waves and sand and sun without Andr, him." She said finally. "My mother's going to kill me and I have to send back all of the wedding gifts too," she said burying her face in her hands.

Darien remained quiet for a moment. "California has waves and sand and sun too," he said softly. "And it would give you a few days to get yourself together."

"What are you talking about?" she asked uncertainly. He couldn't really be inviting her home? Could he? Not after how she'd, not after what she'd done, what they'd done. She sighed a depressing sigh. Even in her head, she couldn't admit that they'd had sex. It was the best sex of her life but it was still wrong.

"Come with me," Darien said simply. That was Darien in a nutshell, she thought to herself, straight and to the point.

The words tumbled out of her mouth, "sure," she said and sealed her fate, whatever it might be.

Twenty minutes later, they had arrived at the busy JFK airport. The attendant behind the desk greeted Serena with a bright smile and a warm welcome. "I'm great, well not great but I would be a lot better if you'd do me a favor," Serena began in a quick rush. The small woman on the other side smiled and promised to do her best. Darien stood behind Serena as she rushed on about her current situation. "I got married yesterday," she began and was immediately interrupted with an enthusiastic "congratulations" from the woman. "Thank you, sort of. See the man behind me," Serena pointed to Darien. She didn't bother turning around to see if he acknowledged the situation at all or if he was even paying attention. "He's not the groom, the groom, my husband, slept with his ex," again she was interrupted, this time with a sigh and an "aww, how sad." "Thanks again, but you see I have these tickets," she lifted up the first class tickets to Hawaii, "and I don't want to use them for that anymore. I mean, I can't go on a honeymoon with a man who's with another woman right?" The attendant agreed. "So, I would like these tickets transferred over or whatever you have to do so that I can get two first class tickets to Los Angeles, California. I'm having the worst day so far and I just need this one favor and I'll get out of your hair," Serena pleaded, her big blue eyes large as saucers. The woman looked sadly at the girl before her and smiled a soft smile, her fingers working hastily to change the tickets.

"Well that was easy," Darien said as they walked toward Gate C, their departure gate.

"Yeah, all I had to do was bear my soul to a complete stranger, a piece of cake." Serena mumbled crossly.

"Serena," Darien said over the noise of the busy airport. He interlaced his fingers with hers and brought their joined hands to his lips, kissing hers softly. "You'll be okay," he said. The gesture surprised her and she almost pulled back, almost but not quite. This version of Darien was much easier to stomach; she wondered how she hadn't seen this side of him before. How could he have changed so much in a few years? How could her enemy become the only person who could heal her wounds, even after she'd basically used him for revenge sex?

"Welcome to first class," a stewardess with bright white teeth said as they shuffled single filed into the large aircraft.

Serena didn't care about the comfy chairs, the hot towels, or the movie that was playing all she wanted was something to take her mind off her current predicament. "Can I get a glass of Champaign?" she asked as soon as her but hit the chair.

"Of course, miss as soon as we're in the air," the stewardess said with a smile.

"Actually, make that two," Serena replied.

"Don't you think you should pace yourself?" Darien's voice said on her left. He'd given her the window seat although she had no interest in the sights.

"Right now, I should be on my honeymoon," she said defeated. "I should be sitting next to the man I loved more than anything in the world and instead I'm here with you," Serena sighed.

"I didn't realize I was such bad company, meatball head." Darien retorted. He turned away from her, his entire body stiffening.

"That's not what I meant," she whined, her voice going up two octaves.

"You didn't seem to have a problem with my company last night," he said snidely.

"Darien!" she cried. "So here he is," she said. "The guy from high school back, I knew the nice guy routine was just a show," she said accusing him.

He sighed and said nothing for a moment. "I'm sorry, I know I'm not your favorite person." He spoke softly, his head hung low.

Serena sighed and turned his face back towards her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that I don't want to be here with you. You've been nothing but kind to me, up until just now where you called me meatball head." Her eyes laughed and Darien smiled, leaning into her caressing hands. "I still can't believe that he did what he did with her," she sighed. "I wish I didn't miss him and that I didn't want him to be here but I do. I can't just turn off my love for Andrew, I've loved him forever, for longer than forever."

"I know," Darien replied, his jaw muscles working. "He's a fool."

"We agree on that completely" she said. Darien turned to her as if he were about to say something else but Serena's eye was caught with something else. "My drinks are here" she smiled as the stewardess brought out two Champaign floats. Her eyes large as saucers.

"You have had Champaign before, haven't you?" Darien asked, worry etched in his brow.

"Of course, I had some at the wedding," she smiled. "This stuff is not as good though," she said after a taste. "But it will do the trick, won't it?"

"Serena, you tend to make bad decisions when you're drunk," he sighed averting his eyes from the blond.

"Not like you mind when I make mistakes," she smiled, her eyes already glazing over. "I probably shouldn't have this and the sleeping pill at the same time," she said softly as she set her half empty glass on the table in front of her. Her head feeling heavy all of a sudden. The last thing she saw was Darien's eyes. It had to be her imagination because there was no way the real Darien Shields would even be capable of mouthing those three words. She closed her eyes and leaned on his shoulder. "Love you too," she replied to the imaginary Darien.


	3. Chapter 3

"Look at the sunset!" Serena slurred through the windows of the old taxi cab. "I can't believe you live right next to the beach," she said peering out into the evening California sunset.

"We're here," Darien said over his shoulder as he paid the taxi driver.

"This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen," Serena aimed a smile at Darien.

"I'm sure everything's amazing to you right now," he replied dryly. "Come on," he pulled her out of the back seat of the cab that smelled like cigarettes and sweat.

Serena stretched her arms high above her head, not bothering to help Darien with the mountain of luggage. "I'm going to the beach," she said turning quickly in the direction of the open ocean. "Whops," she laughed as she stumbled but regained her balance after a moment.

"Don't drown okay," Darien called as he hauled the luggage up the stairs of his apartment complex.

"Why would I drown?" she said as she stumbled her way across the boardwalk.

Every now and then she stumbled and fell in the sand and picked herself up again with a laugh, which only made her laugh harder. By the time she was at the water's edge, she couldn't stop laughing. Slowly she slipped out of her sandals and stepped into the oncoming waves. The water reached just below her calves. The cool waters had a sobering effect on the petit blond. Her previous laughter was forgotten. Instead, she sighed and fell on her behind, thoughts of her missed honeymoon, filling her foggy brain.

"It's a beautiful sunset," Darien said as he placed a warm hand on her shoulder. He dropped down beside her with a thump. She couldn't help wishing that he were someone else as she looked into his blue eyes and hated herself for the thought.

"Yeah it is," she replied, tears threating to consume her. Why couldn't she get away from the memory of a honeymoon she was supposed to have? Why did Andrew's presence have to follow her? She'd run to the other side of the country to escape him and he found her yet again. No amount of alcohol or beautiful things could remove him from her mind.

"You're thinking of him," Darien said softly. There was a sadness to his voice that eluded her.

"I wish I wasn't," she replied running her fingers in the sand. "I wish I could leave him in New York and forget about him completely but he's here, he's always here." Her voice finally gave way to the tears in the back of her throat.

"Tide's coming in," Darien said softly. He scooped up the fragile girl into his arms and carried her into his apartment complex.

The afternoon light filtered in through the open windows, giving the spacious apartment an orange glow. Serena's foggy registered only a fraction of the décor. She saw a set of two leather sofas a huge flat screen tv, a kitchen with stainless shiny steel appliances, although the orange sun in the horizon reflected in their surfaces giving them a tie-dye orange glow. One thing was certain; the place was very neat, almost to an obsessive level. This made the blonde laugh out loud. Darien gave her a quizzical look but she was beyond explaining the hilarity of the situation. Darien, always neat and perfectly put together Darien, was trying to put Serena back together after letting her fall apart. That thought lingered in her foggy brain. Why would he do that? Why would he care enough? Why would he offer her refuge from the consequences that awaited her?

After passing a few doors, Darien finally carried Serena toward one he managed to open. It was a bedroom. He set her down very carefully and Serena wondered if he had read her mind and she really was as fragile as she felt in his arms. She looked up into his deep blue eyes, uncertain of the events that would follow but excited nonetheless. He stared back for a very long moment and then turned around to leave the way he'd entered.

"Wait!" she cried in confusion. "Where are you going?" she asked, her blue eyes pleading from to stay.

"I'm going to bed," he replied. Exhaustion seeped out of his voice, making it husky. She remembered it sounding that way the night before, when passion had overtaken him. Those were very different circumstances and she was eager to repeat them.

"Okay," Serena said scooting over and patting the place beside her. If she hadn't been so intoxicated, she might have been embarrassed or nervous about the boldness of her statement but in her state she didn't care how she might appear. The thought of him denying her didn't even come into her mind until after he'd done just that.

"I'm going to my bed," he said. There was a finality to his voice that sounded strange to her own ears. He sounded reluctant and yet fully certain.

"I don't understand," Serena replied.

"This is the guest room," he said taking a step back towards the ajar door. "I'll be just next door," he turned his back to her.

"Darien," she whispered.

They hadn't promised each other anything, she told him that he owed her nothing but why did his denial to her advances hurt so much? Why did the fact that Darien Shields did not want her make her feel so low? She wanted him to want to be with her. She wanted him to care but that wasn't the case. He didn't. He felt obligated because he was the one who had led her to the scene that had ended her marriage. He didn't owe her anything and Serena understood that. Knowing that fact didn't stop her from wanting something completely different. So in her intoxicated state she couldn't make peace with reality and her own wishes. She wanted him to want her and she demanded that he did.

"I don't want to be alone," she whispered brokenly.

"Serena," he turned slowly, as if regretting the action as he was performing it. "I can't do this, we can't do this," he said. His blue eyes were dark, the pupils had dilated and in even in the darkening evening he was beyond beautiful.

"I'm not asking you for anything," she replied quickly.

"Yes you are," he said, his voice rough with emotion she didn't understand.

"Would it be so bad if we did?" she asked. A half smile playing on her features.

"You only want me when you're drunk," he said.

"I always want you," she said softly. "I only let myself have you when I'm drunk."

"You don't mean that," he said. His chest rose and fell quickly as if he'd just run a marathon. She didn't understand the sudden change.

"Stay," she said patting the space beside her. "We don't have to do anything. I just don't want to be alone," she begged.

He moved slowly. First he took one step and then another and then he sat beside her on the bed. His eyes were unreadable in the darkness. She might not have been able to see his features but she felt his arms wrap around her as they cuddled underneath the blanket. Serena relaxed her body against Darien's. She felt safe. The rest of the world spun as it always did but for once, it didn't matter. When she was in his arms, she could pretend that nothing bad could ever happen to her. She could pretend that he would hold her and protect her from all of life's misfortunes. Her eyes closed and she let herself dream happily, if only for the night.

Serena knew it was the next day when she woke by the dull ache throbbing inside her brain. She also knew that she was alone. For a moment, the briefest second as her blue eyes opened and she took in the surroundings of Darien's guest room, she forgot where she was and the circumstances that had brought her here. For a moment she could marvel on the lavish decor. The pastel blue walls and the striped curtains and the silver headboard above her head gave the room a modern air. He must have had a decorator create the scene but he was a doctor and doctors could afford such things, Serena thought to herself. Andrew would have hated it but she didn't mind…then she realized that she'd thought of him again. He always somehow managed claw his way into her mind and ruin the sweetest moments. Sighing a loud and defeated sigh, Serena swept aside the downy blanket and stepped on to the hardwood floors. A clang from the kitchen alerted her to Darien's position. She smiled and tiptoed her way towards the room. He must have been making her breakfast. He was so thoughtful.

"You don't have to make me breakfast," she mumbled as she made her way into the noisy kitchen. What was he looking for?

"Ahhhh" a tall blond screamed raising a frying pan as a weapon.

"Andrew?" Serena cried upon glimpsing the person in the kitchen. It couldn't be Andrew, he couldn't be here. Why would Darien let him in? How could he expect her to forgive him? He had another thing coming if he thought he could get her back with breakfast. How would she tell him about Darien? If there was anything to tell, was there?

**AN: That ending-It's not what you think. I know I've been away forever, I'm sorry. Life came up the way it always does. I'm back now, well I can't promise a steady schedule of chapters but I can say that I'm trying. Also, some of you have been asking about the other story I'm working on (Trade)…what I can say is that I'm stuck there for now. I had a vision when I started and then I wrote myself on a bigger adventure than I thought I would and now I don't know how to get our heroine back home. It happens. Oh well, I hoped you liked it. Thanks for reading and sticking with me. **


	4. Chapter 4

"Ahhh," the tall blond screamed raising a frying pan as a weapon. "Who are you?"

"You're not Andrew," Serena replied to the woman in the kitchen. She looked like a woman, although she carried herself with a very masculine air. Her blond hair was cut short, boyish but with a bit more volume on top. Her clothes were also cut in a very masculine way—a white button down blouse and a pair of jeans.

"Well that explains…nothing," the woman replied. Then she took a deep breath and putting the frying pan down, she walked toward Serena with very determined steps. "Alright sweetheart, I know the doctor seemed like a really swell guy and he might have even made you some promises but that was last night and its morning now. This is the scene where you take that long walk of shame back home," said the woman in a very condescending tone that Serena didn't appreciate.

"I don't know who you are," Serena began and then anger got the better of her, her hung over state made her voice sound harsher than it should have. "You know what; you should take a walk of shame home. You're the one who is rummaging through Darien's kitchen. Who do you think you are talking to me that way? He invited me over here. What do you have to say for yourself?" Serena ended the last part shouting and out of breath. Her chest rose and fell quickly. Her cheeks were flushed with anger. "Get out or else I'll call the police." She finished resolutely.

"Whoa, let's take a step back." The unidentified woman raised her hands up in surrender. "Who are you? Did you meet Darien at the wedding, you have to forgive him for his behavior the guy just witnessed the woman he loved marrying some douche bag."

"What are you talking about? And I don't see you leaving." Serena replied quickly. She should really be calling the cops. Not only was this woman rummaging through Darien's stuff she was also asking way too many questions and making weird accusations.

"I asked you first," replied the unidentified blond.

"I actually have permission to be here," said Serena, edging toward the phone.

"So do I!" said the blond. "I am Darien's neighbor and when I run out of the basic necessities he lets me come over and use his. I'm guessing you're a long lost friend he met at the wedding."

"Actually, I'm the almost bride," Serena said dejectedly, sitting down at the kitchen islands high bar stool.

"You're Serena?" the woman exclaimed. "Well that is not how I saw this going at all. Did you two run away together?" she said with hearts in her blue eyes.

"Not exactly," Serena said softly. Her headache was making a serious comeback. She laid her head on the island's cool granite surface. "I caught my almost husband in bed with his former flame and Darien's helping me run away from the chaos for a few days," she said miserably.

"Oh," said the woman with a slow intake of breath. "Hung over?" she asked.

"How could you tell?" Serena asked looking up.

"I know the signs and in your shoes I don't know that many people who wouldn't turn to drink to drown their sorrows. I'm Huruka by the way, but you can call me Ruka," she said extending a hand. "And you don't have to call the cops because here comes Darien to back up my side of the story," she said while smiling over Serena's head.

Mistakenly forgetting her overwhelming headache at the sound of Darien's entrance Serena turned her head. The sight of him in his scrubs made her heart flutter for reasons she couldn't fathom. Yes, he did look handsome and he'd been the only kind soul she'd known in the last few days but this response was unexpected. She couldn't even hide the smile that split her face in half.

"Hi," she said softly as if it were a secret she shared only with him. He'd been there for her in ways no one else had. She trusted him and the sight of him walking in with that warm smile made her whole body tingle. A response she was going to have to get used to.

"What's going on here?" Darien asked as he walked swiftly into the room. His hand quickly found Serena's shoulder and he gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"Tell the runaway bride that you know me and I have permission to be here," Ruka said with a secret smile on her face.

"Yes, I know her," Darien said with a quick laugh and went around the island to kiss Ruka on the cheek.

How well did these two know each other exactly? Serena wondered. Was Darien always so nice to women in need? Was this a pattern with him? Serena didn't respond her inner monologue was quickly drowning her in questions, questions she couldn't exactly ask outright.

"Oh don't worry," Ruka said as she noticed the small blonde's confusion. "It's not like that at all. We're only friends. Nothing more ever, scouts honor."

"You were never a girl scout," Darien replied with a quick laugh. He helped her make breakfast by turning on the stove and retrieving the frying pan she'd just decided not to beat Serena with.

"Shows how much you know," Ruka replied nudging him. "I was a girl scout for exactly two days before they got wind of my," she hooked her fingers in the air for air quotes, "orientation and had a problem with it."

"Oh," Serena said softly.

This fact eased her concerns but she still couldn't quite squash the envy in the pit of her stomach. Ruka knew Darien in ways Serena would never be able to. They were friends, a concept that Serena had never imagined possible between herself and her former nemesis. An image filled her mind, she and Darien laughing and talking and understanding one another in a way that only true friends could. Why hadn't they ever had that? What possible future could they have if they couldn't even be friends? –WHOA! Hold up, she mentally slapped herself. All this future talk was getting scary. They hadn't made any promises, in fact she'd been the one to promise not to make any promises and she had no right to even think this way.

"Hello, anyone in there?"

"Huh?" Serena turned her head, finally noticing the two people trying to get her attention. "What?" She said quickly slipping into an angry mood.

"So, what are we going to do about breakfast?" Ruka said with a large smile on her face.

"Anything but pancakes," Serena said, remembering when she'd last eaten them.

"Okay, eggs it is," Ruka said with a triumphant smile.

Half an hour later, well fed and ready to shop, the trio made their way out of the apartment complex. The early afternoon light made everything seem bright and exciting and Serena couldn't contain herself, her headache eased with the use of medicine. She wanted to make the day momentous. She wanted to make everything about this moment and every moment after it more important than the last. She was armed with her newfound strength and friends and she was ready.

"I hope you don't mind but I snuck a look at your luggage while you were in the shower," Ruka said with a wink.

"I guess not…" Serena said hesitantly as she walked arm in arm with Darien on her right and Ruka on her left. They were taking up the whole sidewalk but they didn't care since most of the public were still occupied with work or school.

"You've got some kinky things in there," Ruka said with a wink in Darien's direction this time. "I can see why you two get along so well."

"Ruka, really," Darien said, ready to defend Serena.

"No, Darien I can handle this," Serena said quickly. "I packed for my honeymoon and I don't ever want to wear any of those things again, and thus the shopping."

"Meatball head learned a new word," Darien said smiling at his petite companion.

"Hey," Serena exclaimed.

"I'm kidding" he said.

The two shared a secret smile. Serena lost herself in his dark blue eyes. It was so easy to do so and she found that she would lose herself often. Looking into his eyes made her stomach twist in knots and she didn't quite understand what that meant but she didn't dislike the feeling either.

"Aren't you two just like an old married couple," Ruka said watching the pair.

"No, we're not," Serena replied. The sting struck her reminding her that this wasn't just a vacation but an escape from what was supposed to be the happiest time in her life.

"You don't know this but Serena and I used to have epic arguing matches," Darien said, not noticing the blonde's sudden blue mood.

"I'm guessing she won the last one considering what you were like when I met you," Ruka said looking directly at Darien.

"Oh, I'm not sure I did. Actually, I don't know what happened," Serena said, snapping out of her thoughts. "Darien just sort of left," she said looking into his eyes once more. A smile crept on her lips and then a question she'd wanted to ask for the longest time finally made itself known. "Why did you leave? And why'd you go so far away?" she asked.

"Yeah, Darien" Ruka chimed in. "Why did you leave so suddenly?" She smiled a knowing smile at the handsome man, knowing he was cornered.

"I left because," Darien paused to take a breath, breaking their momentum and causing the group to fall out of alignment. "I left because I had a good opportunity here and I needed a fresh start," he said unable to look at his companions.

"Oh right, that's why," Ruka said. "See, I thought it was because of some girl," she waved her hand nonchalantly.

"Oh, really?" Serena gushed. "Who?" she cried overenthusiastically, putting on too much of a show. The envious monster in the pit of her stomach made a triumphant return but she didn't want to let it show. She had no right to be jealous and she knew that but she was. And that made absolutely no sense.

"Stop it Huruka," Darien glared at his friend.

"What did I say?" Ruka said. "The girl was with another guy and it was just so heartbreaking," she finished with a twinkle in her eye. She watched the pair. The man squirmed and the woman was green with envy. They were so in love and they didn't even realize it. This would be so much fun.

"It doesn't matter, it was a long time ago," Darien said quickly. "We have shopping to do," he hurried on letting the two women fall behind him.

"Do you think he still loves that girl?" Serena said. She thought she might know who the woman in question was. Raye and Chad had started dating around that time, after the millionth breakup and makeup. Could it be that Darien still had feelings for her?

"Oh, I'm sure he does," Ruka said. "You know her very well, maybe you could put in a good word with her."

"Right," Serena said dejectedly. That was the last thing she could do. Raye had been her maid of honor and although she loved her friend very much, the idea of Darien and Raye made her stomach turn. She closed her eyes. The world was spinning and she couldn't get her balance.

"Serena, are you okay?" Ruka said with concern. She caught the wavering girl in her arms.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Serena said. "I think the hangover is making a comeback," she said softly.

"Do you want to go back?" Darien asked. He was right beside her in moments.

"No, yeah, I just—" she looked into his eyes, his beautiful dark eyes and felt as though her heart was going to stop. She was developing feelings for Darien Shields. She was really developing very strong feelings for him. Why did she have such crappy taste in men? Why couldn't she fall for the ones who were not in love with other women?

"I'll take you back," Darien replied, wrapping his arm around her.

"No, I'm fine I just need to lie down. You two go on ahead and shop and I'll see you both later. Yeah, later, we can have dinner." She smiled what she hoped was a reassuring smile. She had to be alone, she had to figure out what she was going to do.

"Serena, let me walk you back," he insisted.

"No," she said again. "I just need to be alone for a little while. I'll be fine." Her eyes begged for him to agree. She needed to get her thoughts together.

"Okay, if you're sure," he said. He looked at Ruka and they exchanged similarly concerned looks.

"I'm sure. I'll be fine. I promise. You guys have fun," Serena said, practically running the opposite direction.

How could she be so stupid? How could she feel things for Darien? They had an agreement and she was dumb enough to ruin it. Of course, she was. That's all she was good for. She couldn't ever be anyone else. She was destined to be the woman men left to find their true love. Sighing and feeling horribly depressed, Serena made her way to the apartment building without noticing her surroundings. She bumped into a man and apologized profusely.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. Clumsiness must be a thing when she was near Darien. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd bumped into anyone. But here she was again, clumsy and heart broken and stupid. It was high school all over again.

"It's alright, Serena," a familiar voice replied.

"Andrew?" she looked up into his bright blue eyes and wanted to die right then. Why was he here? How did he know where to find her? All of her feelings from this morning came back doubled. Her feet swayed and she felt dizzy. And then the darkness covered her like a blanket, bringing her peace from the inner turmoil that had become her life.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hi everyone! Fair warning, this chapter will contain some adult language. I don't know why but that's just how the scene played out. If I were honest, that's probably what I'd say to someone who did what Andrew did, but I'm getting ahead of myself. So Enjoy! As always read and review. I get so inspired by all of your comments. I know I take forever with the chapters sometimes, but I really kind of wait for inspiration when I write. Okay bye! **

"Serena," someone was saying her name.

It was her name for sure and the voice was so familiar and comforting. She wanted to reach out to the voice, wanted to bathe in the warmth that filled her when she heard it but she couldn't and she couldn't remember why. Why couldn't she find comfort in that voice? Why couldn't she trust that voice? Why couldn't she—

"Fuck!" Serena cried as she woke up to a very familiar pair of blue eyes. He looked rather alarmed at her unusual use of language but who was he to be alarmed? He had no right to be alarmed. He was the one who'd fucked Rita on the very bed that Serena had planned to share with him. He had no right to be alarmed or confused or to look so distraught.

"Serena, are you okay?" Andrew asked. His blue eyes widening as she attempted to get ahold of herself.

"Fuck you!" she cried and tried to pry his hands off of her. "I can't believe you're here. How did you find me? How dare you show up here like this? What the hell are you thinking?" Rage, pure and unfiltered rage left Serena's mouth. She'd never been one to use such foul language and she'd never approved of outbursts like this but she'd also never experienced heartache like this so her take on the situation changed due to experience.

Andrew for his part looked stunned and startled and completely innocent. He had caught the falling blonde as she went down, quite unexpectedly and had brought her over to the seating area in the apartment complex's lobby. He'd made every effort to help her regain consciousness but he hadn't expected that her waking state would be so volatile.

"Serena, calm down," he said, realizing two seconds later that those were the worst words he could have used.

"Calm down?" she parroted. "Calm down. Calm down!" she cried. "Really? You're telling me to calm down. You are telling ME to calm down! Fuck you, Andrew. Fuck You! You calm down, I'm leaving. Don't follow me." She cried and ran toward the lobby elevator. He followed her, of course.

"Serena, please, you're making a scene," he said advancing slowly toward the shaking blonde. She looked like a human grenade that was just about ready to explode.

"Do I look like I care?" she cried, pushing the elevator button, digging into the wall with it. Why did elevators have to take so long?

"Well, I'm sure Darien cares," Andrew said, hitting just the right button.

Serena turned toward him and noticed the rest of the room for the first time. It wasn't much of an audience, just a short custodial man and the guard behind the desk but this was Darien's home. She'd taken too much from him already; she couldn't do this to him. Darien would care how these people looked at him and what if word got around that Darien was a bad tenant? She couldn't do that to Darien.

The elevator doors opened.

But she wasn't ready to end the conversation. She hadn't finished saying all that she'd wanted to say to her almost husband.

"Come upstairs," it was a command and it was the last thing she said to Andrew until they were inside Darien's apartment. He'd followed her, silently, waiting for the bomb to explode.

Once they were inside, and Serena had taken several deep breaths she found that she no longer knew what to say. The two of them sat down on either side of the kitchen island. The sun was still high enough in the sky to give the kitchen appliances an orange-yellow glow. With the sun at her back, she had a clear view of Andrew under its harsh light. He wasn't as perfect as she'd always thought. Small wrinkles were carved into the sides of his eyes and his eyes, the one feature that had always stood out, became washed out by the sun—too light blue and not at all like the one's she'd been gazing into earlier. Serena was comparing the two men but this time, Darien was winning.

"I'm a jerk," Andrew said breaking Serena out of her thoughts.

She didn't respond.

"I'm worse than scum, I'm just, I don't know what I can say to make this okay," he said, making himself the victim.

He wanted her to tell him what to say to make what he did okay. There was nothing he could say. There could never be any words that could erase the pain he'd caused. That would have been the perfect way to hurt him but she couldn't say anything. Her mouth would not open and words, the words she'd raged with downstairs were gone.

"I can't ask for your forgiveness," he said. "I know that and I'm not going to I just need you to understand and maybe you'll realize that I never intended to hurt you," he said, working his blue eyes.

That trick wouldn't work on her anymore. She almost told him just that but he interrupted.

"Someday you will meet the right man and all your waiting will be worth it," he said.

That sentence broke the last straw; the last hold of stunned silence was gone. He didn't intend to hurt her but Serena knew exactly how much her words would hurt him when she spoke. She wanted to hurt him and hurt him deeply. "I slept with Darien," she said, level-eyed and unashamed.

"Serena," Andrew said in a patronizing way, "you didn't." He shook his head as if he had a right to, as if she had been the one to disappoint him. "You shouldn't have, not with Darien," he said, inserting just the right amount of emphasis on the sigh.

"It was great, the best time of my life," she said, teeth shut tightly. This wasn't the reaction she'd expected. He was supposed to feel jealous and angry and sad but he wasn't. He should have been. Had their love meant so little to him?

"Serena," he said again in that patronizing tone of his.

"Better than it would have been with you," she said, aiming to hurt him.

"Well you only did it once," he said, his ego taking a blow and his tone changing.

"More than once, we're like rabbits and we can't seem to stop."

"Great, I'm glad you've experience the joy of sex," he said, on edge.

"It's fantastic," she went on, her tone dry as the desert. "Half of the things we do, I can't even believe are possible," she said evenly.

"Stop it," he said a hard edge to his voice.

"Why?" she asked. He was losing it and she was pushing him just far enough to wipe that smug controlled exterior off his face. "You made sure I got the full picture when you had sex with Rita, I think it's only fair that I do you the same favor."

"I never meant to hurt you," Andrew said, trying to regain some of his lost control with a tight grip on the kitchen island.

"Fuck you," she said.

"Are we back to that now?" he said.

"If you're back to telling me how you didn't want to hurt me by fucking you ex in our honeymoon bed, yeah we are."

"I didn't mean to hurt you, I wasn't even thinking about you," he said quickly, the anger getting the best of him.

His words hurt. They hit her like a bucket of water, just as potent. He hadn't even thought of her. She wasn't important enough to think of before jeopardizing everything they'd built together. Serena took a deep breath, fought off the tears that were threatening to fall. "Why are you here?" she asked.

"I want an annulment," he said with no emotion. He wasn't playing the nice guy anymore.

"WE DIDN'T GET MARRIED!" she cried, throwing her hands up in the air. "WE NEVER CONSUMATED THE MARRIAGE!"

"Serena," he began then thought better and started again. "We said the words and signed the documents. We're married. I want out."

"You should have said that instead of saying 'I do' and we wouldn't be in this mess." She turned from him and tried to think of something to do, her brain wasn't working. She couldn't close the wound that was being torn open just as it had started to heal.

"Serena, please listen to me." Andrew said.

"Stop saying my name like that," she said. "You don't have the right to say my name. You don't have the right to come here like this and talk to me this way. You don't."

"I need an annulment," he said determined to get his way.

"And I need time," she cried turning around to face him. If it weren't for the large island between them she would have slapped him, hard.

"I don't have time," he said.

"Why not?"

"Rita and I want to get married before the expedition," he said quickly.

"The expedition, isn't that how you broke up in the first place? She left you for some archeological expedition." The fact that he'd just admitted to wanting to marry another woman didn't even register in Serena's brain. It didn't matter and she didn't even want to process the words and the amount of hurt they would cause.

"This time, I'm going with her," he said with a romantic glaze in his eyes.

"No, I'm not going to make this easy on you," she said.

"Are you really going to do this?" he asked, the veins in his neck became very pronounced as they struggled to pump blood to his angry head.

"Maybe," she said.

"Even though I don't love you?"

"You loved me last week, you wanted to marry me," she cried. Finally, the anger was melting and she couldn't help the tears that broke through her eyes like a dam flooding everything.

"Serena," Andrew said, his voice taking on a kinder tone. "I thought I loved you, I wanted to love you but I don't love you the way I love Rita, I know that now. I wish I knew it sooner so that I could spare you this but I didn't and I'm sorry. All I can do now is make it right, make it end."

"I hate you," she said, between sobs.

"I know, you have every right to." He said as he attempted to comfort her.

She fought him for a moment, "no," she whimpered but the touch of his hands brought back so many comforting memories and a small, delusional part of her still wanted one last embrace. She gave in and he held her as she sobbed in his arms. It wasn't right, though. Andrew was like he always had been, but she'd changed. She didn't want comfort from him; she clung to him but thought of another pair of arms that she needed. She needed Darien.

"Serena, I thought you might want something to drink so I brought you a smoothie," Darien said as he came through the door. The smoothie fell to the hardwood floor when he noticed the couple deeply locked in their embrace. The purple liquid spread out along the floor while the ice cubes slid down like little boats in a stream. But no one noticed. Not one of the three people in the room cared about the spilled drink, except for the fourth person who followed Darien in.

"Darien, what happ—" Huruka said noticing the drink. Then her eyes went to her companion and finally the sight he was so entranced in. Serena and another man, he had to be Andrew, were wrapped in each other's arms. "What's going on?" her question broke the trance like a pin to a balloon.

After a moment of silence, the pair split apart and started talking at the same time.

"This isn't what it looks like," Serena said.

While Andrew said: "I can't believe you took advantage of her."

Together it sounded like a garbled mess. "This isn't what you took advantage like."

Darien didn't say anything. He stared blankly at the petit blond but didn't speak. Serena couldn't look him in the eye. Andrew didn't have a problem staring down the man but didn't seem to notice that Darien didn't care.

"How about I clean this up and you guys sit down and talk calmly about this. I'm sure it's all just one big misunderstanding," Huruka said quickly. She hoped it was a misunderstanding.

"No," Serena said quickly. "Andrew should go," she said not looking at him. Not looking at Darien and Andrew was become more and more difficult. If she got rid of one of them then she had a much better chance of avoiding the other.

"You're right," Darien said, finally acknowledging the man next to Serena. "I'll walk Andrew out," he said grasping the man's shoulder with far too much force and dragging him out of the apartment.

Serena stared as the pair made their exit. She was stunned.

"What happened?" Huruka asked as she finished wiping the remnants of smoothie off of the floor. "What did we just walk into?"

"I don't know," Serena said.

"What are you doing?"

Serena looked at the woman crouching on the floor, a rag in her hand and accusation on her lips.

"I don't know."


End file.
